Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted. (Mt. 28:16-17)
I’m encouraged that some disciples doubted even when the resurrected Jesus was right in front of them because I sometimes have my own doubts. My issue isn’t just that I doubt, but that I’m prone to severely chastise myself when I do. I scold myself by saying, “Given all that God has done for you, how could your faith be so weak and fickle?”
On my strong-faith-days I say, “I don’t know how to make sense of my life without God.” On my doubt-riddled-days I say, “I don’t know how to make sense of my life if there is a God.”
Picture the scene. The resurrected Jesus is standing before them. They see the marks in his hands. He sounds just the same. Now, if some of them could doubt at that moment, who am I to think that I won’t sometimes doubt as well? How presumptuous to think I can “out-faith” those who saw Jesus right before them. How foolish to do such damage to myself when I do.
Doubting isn’t a sin. Doubting isn’t the opposite of faith. Doubting is just part of faith. That’s why we call it faith. Faith isn’t about facts. Faith is about whispers and intimations that we’re in God’s hands even when our life doesn’t make sense. Faith isn’t an achievement; it’s a process. Faith isn’t about arriving; it’s about the journey.
But some doubted. If any of us struggle with sometimes having doubts about God’s presence, God’s love, God’s power, I hope we will be encouraged by those who doubted on that day. If some of them doubted with the resurrected Jesus at arm’s length, maybe we ought to give ourselves a break about having our own doubts when it can sometimes seem like Jesus is so far away.
- Do you ever chastise yourself when you have doubts? Is scolding your self ever helpful? Did you know that Jesus wants you to stop?
- What does Jesus desire for us to do with all of our doubts, questions, and struggles? He wants us to bring them all to Him. Are you willing to do so?
- Sometimes we can take our doubts too seriously. If that is true for you, then what would it take for you to focus more on the faith you do have and less upon the doubts you may have?
My Barnabas invites you to watch this video –> Look Up Child by Lauren Daigle